Things I Have Actually Witnessed Laura
Say to Boys Who Fell for Her Soon After
by Sarah Brown
"And what do you do?"
"I'm taking Cherokee."
"My dad brews his own beer."
"I used to be in an Irish softshoe group."
"That's quite a hat you've got there." *
"Who's he?" (motioning to Regis Philbin on TV)
"Guinness, please."
"Ever read Jonathan Livingston Seagull?" **
* This was directed to my father,
and she only wishes he fell for her.
** I'm pretty sure this one only worked because they were
both already drunk.
