from Michael Milken’s Guide to
North American Office Employees
The employees
below are mostly found in the area around the Hudson River Valley;
however, most are available throughout the contingent states. They
should be properly identified and tested before using them
Customer Service Representatives (CSRs)
CSRs make a great side dish for other foods. Detach
from headset and place over coals to drain the fatty coat. You’ll
notice CSRs make a pleasant smelling fire. Chewing the digits may
help relieve headaches. Nuts, if available, may be leached and roasted
or ground into flour.
Brokers (both stock and investment)
Brokers are one of the "big four" of the
corporate edibles. The young brokers may be boiled in water and
eaten with a lot of salt and ketchup. Hair, nails, and nuts may
be collected, ground and added to flour. The innards may be leached
and used for noodles. If you can find investment brokers, first
check for and remove any prosthetics or pacers. Almost any part
of a Broker can be used to sustenance during difficult periods.
Mail Clerks
Great for soothing aches and pains, but otherwise
bland, seep the Mail Clerk for 4-6 hours to produce a lasting tonic.
Remains can be dehydrated and used for tea. Caution: stay away from
Clerks with external markings reading “FedEx” or “UPS” as they are
likely to cause intestinal distress.
Accountants (CPAs only)
Fully grown, accountants yield little resistance
and make great on-the-go snacks. Save the fleshy underside for
later use as a salty jerky. Baring similarity in size and taste
to sunflower seeds, nuts may be collected, dried, and seasoned with
light salt.
